Meet my friends Haley, the border collie on the left and Daisy, the German shepherd mix on the right. I love them like family, but sometimes can’t help but wonder if they’re actually geniuses in disguise or just the universe’s way of keeping me humble. Whether it’s a dog that seems to have mastered the art of selective hearing or the other who stares off into space  like they’ve unlocked the secrets of the cosmos, these girls have a way of making me question everything—including my own intelligence.

So, in the spirit of Funny Friday, here are a few times these two made me seriously question who the real smart one in the house is (spoiler alert: it’s probably not me).

• The Time They Barked at Nothing
  It was a quiet morning, the kind where you almost feel peaceful. Suddenly, one of them shoots up, barking wildly at the window, then races outside to the dog run with the other in tow, barking like it’s a competition. Was there an intruder? A ghost? No. It was the garbage truck, making its weekly pick up. Apparently, nothing says “defend the house” like standing up to a five ton truck who has the temerity to empty our overflowing refuse bin.
• The Great Laser Pointer Incident
  Ah, the laser pointer. Endless hours of entertainment for cats and dogs alike—until one fateful day when my border collie seemed to “figure it out.” She stopped chasing the red dot, looked me dead in the eye, and then attacked the laser pointer in my hand like some kind of canine detective solving a mystery. For a split second, I thought, “Wow, she’s a genius!” But then she went back to chasing the laser for another 20 minutes. Never mind.
• The “Let Me Outside, Let Me Back Inside” Loop
  Dogs have a special talent for wanting to go outside the second you sit down. But nothing quite makes me question my intelligence like when they come running back in—only to take up a position at the window and look outside longingly once more. It’s like some kind of existential dilemma for them: To be or not to be… outdoors? And I keep asking if they want to go out, every time. I installed a dog door that gives them access out or in whenever they want, but they always wait until I make the suggestion, so who’s really in charge here?

Image by sosinda from Pixabay

• The Mysterious Harness Fear
  For reasons known only to my dogs, both of them believe their car harness is out to get them. Haley, who is almost three, has been wearing a harness for car rides since she was old enough to fit into it, but for some reason only she knows, getting her to step into the leg holes is a work of art. Once the buckle is fastened, she seems to forget its there, but the runup is often a bit frustrating and always amusing. But Daisy? Once that harness is on, she goes from a rough and tumble dog to a meek puppy who looks like she’s being punished for something.  A monster in disguise. She won’t go near them on her own, and seems to forget about it once we leave the house, but inside she’s a cowed girl until it comes off. I’ve considered renaming her “Captain Inconsistent.”
• The Doorway Standoff
  Daisy has developed a very particular hobby: following close behind me as if daring me to turn around and stumble over her. Is it an elaborate test of my agility, or does she secretly want me to trip and fall, so she can take over the household in my absence? Either way, she wins—because I’ll often laugh and wait patiently for her to move, proving once again that I’m the subordinate in this relationship.
• The Water Bowl Drama
  Daisy drinks water like it’s a world-ending event. She gulps it down so fast, she inevitably chokes, looks at me accusingly, and then drinks even faster as if she’s trying to win some invisible race. For the first few months, she’d play in it as though it was there for her amusement. Once the bowl was empty, she’d whine for me to refill it so she could resume making a mess. You’d think I’d learn to restrict her access, but no, I just sit there, helplessly watching this recurring aquatic disaster unfold.
• The Case of the Missing Toys
  Ever notice how your pet’s favorite toy mysteriously disappears, only to show up in the most random places? My dogs carry them everywhere, it seems, including when they go outside to do their business, after which they come inside and desperately search for the missing object. I have searched for days, only to see it suddenly show up with it in one of their mouths. I’m starting to think they just enjoy adding a level of difficulty to their own games—like a canine version of hide-and-seek. And don’t get me started on my confusion over the fact that it doesn’t seem to matter which toy they start out with; they just have to have the one the other is playing with. I’m sure they’re laughing at my perplexed expression as they play musical amusements.
• The Sofa Showdown
  Daisy believes the sofa is hers. She’ll stretch out across it, leaving just enough room for me to perch on the edge. Or she’ll perch on the top of the back and chew on a toy. I’m sure she’s teasing Haley, who shows her border collie lineage in staring fixedly at the toy, waiting for Daisy’s attention to waver. When that happens, it only takes a split second for her to jump on the sofa and snatch the toy away from Daisy. If I dare try to move her, I get the look—that mix of judgment and indignation that only pets can deliver. I often give up and sit in the rocker to avoid being trampled in the rush, realizing that I’ve been outwitted by creatures who eat out of a bowl.

So, there you have it—the moments that make me question not only my pet’s intelligence, but my own. Despite it all, I love them dearly. And, at the end of the day, maybe that’s the real genius—getting my wife or I to do whatever they want, all while they play dumb.

Image by Norine Holguin from Pixabay