As I’ve said on numerous occasions, I’m currently working on a complete rewrite and expansion of my early novel, “Hidden Desires”. Progress has been excruciatingly slow, mostly due to my lethargy at tackling the work. That’s not to say I’ve abandoned the project. On the contrary, I am proud of the changes and improvements I am making to every facet of this story.

To that end, I have another excerpt for your perusal and enjoyment. As a bit of background, Mary has undergone a significant change since her unplanned meeting of Mr. Wickham and his friend Mr. Denny. The incident has led her thoughts in directions that would have horrified her mere weeks ago. The poor girl has struggled to regain her former pious and judgmental demeanor to no avail, as her nightly dreams torment her with pictures of an admittedly sinful future in his company.

In desperation, she has committed what egregious sin, which she hoped to conceal from Mr. Bennet. To her dismay, Elizabeth has unwittingly exposed her misdeed and the accidental revelation bothers her.

This excerpt begins with Elizabeth’s thoughts on the matter during her morning walk:

Elizabeth chose a familiar path, but the serenity she sought eluded her. She lifted her gaze to the trees, whose graceful arches would shade the trail from this afternoon’s heat. Not even the soft rustle of the leaves eased the guilt tearing at her conscience.

Wildflowers bordered the pathway, their colorful petals a cheerful contrast to the green of the trees. She stopped and took a deep breath, sucking the fragrant scent of the morning air deep into her lungs, then stepped forward again, letting her fingers brush the delicate blossoms beside her.

I hope she forgives me. It was not my plan to cause trouble, but Papa’s question took me by surprise. If I had known why he was asking, I might have come up with an excuse. But could I? Unlike Lydia, I am not in the habit of lying to my father. To her, it is all a game, while I fail to see the purpose. Sooner or later, the lie catches up to you and then what? She laughs at Papa’s punishment and carries on as if nothing happened, but I value his trust and respect.

What was she thinking, taking a horse without permission, and going off like that? She must have known she had no chance of getting away with it. Something is going on with her and, in my opinion, it started the day we took Lydia and Kitty to Meryton.

Since then, she has asked my opinion on marrying an officer in the regiment and persuaded me to alter her appearance. I think the first sight of that man caught her interest. Watching Lydia throw herself at them whenever she is in town cannot have helped the situation; she sees how much attention her sister gets and wants some herself.

 The only thing to do is take her into the garden for a talk. I just hope she doesn’t ignore me. That is going to depend on what Papa said to her this morning and the punishment he decided on. Until then, I might as well enjoy my walk. What with talking to her and entertaining Georgiana this afternoon, today should be full.

She smiled at the memory of meeting Mr. Darcy’s sister. The young woman impressed her from the start showing uncommon poise and grace in a girl close to Lydia’s age. And such a polite demeanor. Elizabeth guessed her brother spared no expense when engaging the services of a tutor, which meant he must love her a great deal.

Mr. Darcy seemed a different person than the man whose insufferable behavior at the assembly had turned most of Hertfordshire’s citizens against him.

What had happened to cause such a surprising change? He had gone from a person who viewed everyone else as beneath him to a kind, caring individual. Had Mr. Bingley told him about the dislike he earned with his behavior that night?

Whereas at the assembly he kept to himself and ignored most of the men who greeted him and extended a hand of friendship, his disposition yesterday was the complete opposite. His harsh, critical attitude was softer, and it seemed he had compliments and praise for everyone.

But was this a permanent change, or was he an impostor and the real Mr. Darcy was returning with his sister today? She didn’t know, but prayed the new and improved man accompanied Georgiana.

He is handsome, and pleasant without his superior attitude. If he had been this friendly at our first meeting, he might have persuaded me to share a set. After his dismissive remarks, though, I did not care if I ever saw him again.

I must be dreaming! The man did not dance with anyone that night, so what makes me think he gave so much as a single thought about asking me? As I recall, he said I am tolerable, but not beautiful enough to attract his attention. The women in London must be magnificent if none of us in Hertfordshire are worth a second look.

Elizabeth shook her head and laughed. This was a welcome diversion from the situation at home, but as much as she wanted to dream of Mr. Darcy’s handsome face, her worries stubbornly pushed those thoughts aside. The tranquility of the walk was no match for the unease that gnawed at her, but she pressed on, hoping the peaceful path might soothe her troubled mind.

“This is not working,” said she at the sight of Oakham Mount. “I have been out here for hours and am no closer to knowing what to do. It is time to go home and face Mary’s wrath. Not that I believe for one instant that I wronged her in telling the truth, but she might.”

With a sharp nod of her head, she turned and set a brisk step toward the estate. Dawdling, although somewhat tempting, would not change the inevitable, so why delay? Mary could accept or reject her invitation to discuss the matter in private, but either way, Elizabeth meant to resolve the issue today.

This is unedited, so please forgive any errors or confusing wording. I’d love to hear your opinions, criticisms, ideas, etc. Also, the cover you see is the original. I have engaged someone to rework it, but have not yet seen anything.