For my first post on this site, I thought I would go back to the well. As an Austen writer, I tend to be rather prolific, publishing multiple variations yearly. I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head and sitting in documents on my machine that there is no chance I will ever get to them all. While I would not call writing easy in a general sense, Pride and Prejudice variations are simpler in that you already have the world and the basic setting. Unless, of course, you mess with the setting altogether, which I have done more than once!

My next offering is coming up later this month. The title is Every Possible Amends. If you go to the text of Pride and Prejudice and search for those words, you will find them in Mr. Collins’s letter to Mr. Bennet, basically inviting himself to Longbourn for a visit. As most of my titles are these days, it was chosen deliberately because it says something about the story I will tell.

To set the scene, Mr. Bennet has died and Mr. Collins inherited Longbourn. Rather than force the Bennet ladies to depart, however, our intrepid new gentleman has decided he will show charity to them. This has some unforeseen consequences, however, as Mr. Collins has also decided he needs to see his cousins married before he can take a wife. What do you get when you cross Mrs. Bennet’s matchmaking tendencies with Mr. Collins’s brand of foolishness? Enough scenes to send the Bennet sisters fleeing to the hills from the mortification!

I originally posted the prologue to Austen Authors, so I won’t rehash that here. This is a scene at the assembly in Meryton, with Mrs. Bennet and Mr. Collins vying for who will throw the sisters at the men more quickly.

*     *     *

Soon, Sir William approached with two of the gentlemen in tow. The ladies of the Netherfield party, Elizabeth noted, were standing together speaking in soft tones, while the other man, a short, pudgy man with beady eyes and a ruddy countenance, had seated himself next to the punch and seemed intent upon consuming it all himself.

“Ah, Mrs. Bennet,” said Sir William in his usually jovial tone, “Mr. Bingley has asked for an introduction to you all.”

“That is most excellent of you, sir,” said Mr. Collins, inserting himself and responding in Mrs. Bennet’s place. Elizabeth could see her mother’s annoyance, but as always, she refrained from saying anything. “If you recall, I spoke of my cousins currently living with me. It would be my pleasure to introduce you.”

“Please do, Mr. Collins,” said the shorter of the two men with laughing eyes. “I am eager to know them.”

Mr. Collins beamed as if Mr. Bingley’s words were a compliment to herself. Then he made the introductions, his words flowery and overdone as usual. The taller gentleman he introduced as Mr. Darcy, while the other, amiable man was Mr. Bingley. Both were handsome in their own ways, Mr. Bingley with blond locks tending toward a hint of red, with a freckled, fair countenance, while his companion was darker of hair and skin, though his dark eyes spoke to intelligence and his strong jaw and high cheeks indicated an aristocratic air that was not at all displeasing.

“I am delighted to make your acquaintance,” said Mr. Bingley, proving that he was the more gregarious of the two, eager to please and be pleased. Mr. Darcy, though he watched intently, did not speak.

“And we are gratified to make yours,” responded Mrs. Bennet.

“Have I done them justice?” asked Mr. Collins, the light of eagerness shining in his eyes. “Are they not among the most beautiful ladies you have ever seen?”

“They are, indeed,” agreed Mr. Bingley, without hesitation.

Elizabeth shared a glance at Jane, noting her sister discomfiture, the same as her own. This was not the worst of Mr. Collins’s excesses when attempting to promote his cousins as potential partners, but it was still embarrassing to hear the man say such things to strangers. What Mr. Darcy thought Elizabeth could not say, for he remained inscrutable, only the slight tightening of his mouth suggesting he thought Mr. Collins’s behavior inappropriate. Mr. Bingley, however, did not batt an eyelash.

“I am quite put out with you, Mr. Collins,” said he with a laugh in his voice, “for you did not do them justice at all. They are quite the finest ladies I have ever beheld.”

Mr. Darcy glanced at his friend, though with disgust or amusement, Elizabeth could not say. Mr. Collins preened again, obviously pleased with himself.

“In fact, I should like to solicit Miss Bennet’s hand for a dance if I may be so bold. Do you have one you may cede to me?”

“Of course, Mr. Bingley,” said Jane, pleased with the attention. “I should be happy to dance with you.”

“You have seen through to the heart of the matter, Mr. Bingley,” crowed Mrs. Bennet. “My Jane is admired wherever she goes.” Then she turned to Mr. Darcy. “But my Lizzy is quite her sister’s equal, and a popular dance partner, too.”

It was no less than a blatant attempt to induce the gentleman to solicit her hand. Elizabeth felt like sinking into the floor with embarrassment. Mr. Darcy, however, gave her a nod and dashed all her hopes.

“I am certain she is, madam.”

A few moments later, Sir William pulled the gentlemen away, leading them to others of the neighborhood. Had Elizabeth the opportunity to escape, she would have taken it with alacrity. But such was not possible, it seemed.

“Oh, what a wonderful start, Jane!” cried Mrs. Bennet. “Mark my words, Mr. Bingley admires you already!”

“How could he not!” added Mr. Collins to the silliness. “And I know Mr. Darcy will prove himself to be an excellent man too! I should not wonder if he graces all my fair cousins with his presence before the end of the evening!”

While Elizabeth could not speak to the accuracy of such a prophecy, she was content to allow the matter to rest. Soon thereafter, Mrs. Bennet moved away, for such was the lure of her friends the first night of her return to society, that the matter of her daughters’ impression on new acquaintances was secondary. Mary returned to her chair, while Jane moved away, leaving Elizabeth with Mr. Collins. While she might have considered escape too, her cousin’s comment forestalled any such action.

“Did you know that Mr. Darcy is a wealthy man?” asked Mr. Collins.

“From his dress, it is not unexpected,” said Elizabeth.

“His elegance is unmistakable,” agreed Mr. Collins. “And very eligible. You should take notice, cousin, for I suspect he will find you irresistible. I doubt you could find a better man than he!”

With a grin of smugness, Mr. Collins moved away, leaving Elizabeth watching him as he went. A tremor of unease swept up her spine at the thought of her mother and Mr. Collins vying for the privilege of pushing her into the arms of Mr. Darcy and making them all ridiculous in the bargain. There was little enough she could do to prevent it, and as the music began and her partner for the first set came to claim her hand, she pushed such thoughts away.

 

What do you think of Mr. Collins now? The altruistic nature of his determination to support his cousins is laudable. But it is entirely possible that Elizabeth might have preferred to remain homeless instead of enduring his brand of foolishness!

Every Possible Amends is scheduled to be published on November 17 on Amazon Kindle, paperback, and Kindle Unlimited.