Image by Claximoli from Pixabay

December is here, so in keeping with Rowland family tradition, I’m going to start celebrating the season early. To be honest, I’m far from the first of my brothers and sisters to do this; my eldest sister started decorating before Halloween.

But don’t worry, I have no plans to get sentimental right out of the gate. Instead, I came across an AI joke generator that I decided to try out. While the results aren’t side-splitting, with a few tweaks, I wound up with a humorous story I think you might enjoy:

Image by Bruno from Pixabay

It was Christmas Eve on the farm, and Mark had just finished feeding the animals after a long day of hauling hay and mucking out stables. He wiped his hands on his jeans and, after a moment of reflection, decided he’d better grab something for his sister-in-law. After all, it was Christmas.

Driving into town, he snatched a Holiday Spice candle from the local general store, pleased with his purchase. “It’s not much,” he thought, “but it’s better than the overpriced junk they sell at the city boutiques.”

Christmas morning arrived, and the family gathered around the fireplace in their cozy farmhouse. Mark’s sister-in-law unwrapped the candle with an exaggerated grimace. “Oh,” she said, holding it at arm’s length as though it were toxic, “this will be perfect… for the bathroom.”

Her husband, seated in an overstuffed leather chair that clearly hadn’t seen a cow patty in its life, took a sip from his eco-friendly travel mug. “Yes, we try to keep things chic around here,” he said, eyeing the rustic furniture with disdain. “You know, things that match our lifestyle.”

Mark leaned toward his wife, the corner of his mouth twitching in a grin. He whispered, loud enough for the room to hear, “Next year, they’re both getting socks.”

His wife, who had spent the morning baking fresh bread and scrubbing flour off the counters, turned to the group and, with a smile that could melt a snowbank, said, “And maybe we’ll add a mirror, so they can admire how chic they are.”

The kids snickered, earning them a side-eye from Aunt Snob, who was clearly offended by the rustic charm of the farm. But things really took a turn when Mark’s sister-in-law handed him his gift: a box tied with a velvet ribbon, the kind that probably cost more than his entire farm’s harvest. Mark opened it to reveal… a sleek, black candle—branded with the name of a direct competitor to the Holiday Spice candle.

His sister-in-law smiled smugly. “It’s from our business,” she said, as if she were handing him the keys to a mansion. “It’s a signature scent we sell online—really elevates the space.”

Mark raised an eyebrow, holding the candle up like it was a prize pig at the county fair. “Elevates the space, huh?” he said. “Must be why we always seem to smell fresh hay and fresh country air.”

The kids burst into giggles again, and Aunt Snob’s face went the color of an overripe tomato.

Mark’s wife leaned back and said, “Well, we might just have to burn it in the barn next to the animals. A real elevated experience.”

Everyone, except the in-laws, laughed.

Image by Alexandru Manole from Pixabay

Forgive my exuberance, but I find myself looking forward to this season more with each passing year. If you’re not yet feeling the joy of Christmas, I hope it finds you before the day passes.